The title this week has a 2 fold meaning. The most obvious being the incredible wreck of some 30+ cars on the last lap during this weeks NASCAR race at Talledaga. Unfortunately our driver Marcos Ambrose was 1 of those cars destroyed in what has 2B the biggest wreck I've seen in years.
The other meaning behind the title is a much greater understanding of my mental state. With any high emotion comes an equal or greater low! After the monumental high that was Bathurst came the bipolar Low.
This hit like a wave with no warning or pre-cursor, and by Wednesday of this week I found myself looking outward from a very dark place. This is the type of place I thought I'd left behind long ago. How wrong and stupid I am.
I have however learnt to deal with these down turns and managed to force work upon myself in an effort to keep busy and slow "The Spiral".
Strangely, the blackboard helped, as I wrote down things my mind was chewing on, as these occurred more than once they became a priority to deal with.The other help was to realize the obvious "That itz all in my Head". The simple revelation of this means, I try to switch off and just work through. If you've never been a depressive, then you'll not understand how hard it is to do the simplest of tasks like pick up a pencil or take a shower. You know the task will help, itz just incredibly difficult to do.
So me being me !! I took the last piece of old safety railing system off the bow (front ) of the Yot and with this small task I removed the ability to board the boat safely. A situation that had 2B rectified! and by the thyme this blog entry is being written (in the very,very early hours of Saturday) (insomnia) I now have a completed Bow rail! and the beginnings of a deck area (fore-deck).
This baby step method of construction task focus therapy is very similar to the start of the skippers console which also began with a very minor task, as I removed the steering wheel. Such small tasks seem to open a doorway out of the Dark. As long as I keep busy then my mind doesn't wander (as much). I tried Retail therapy but even fitting a new mattress and mosquito net to the rear bed, didn't help, and I also bought the new flares so I could head the Yot out to sea on the next high tide,(Wednesday evening). Fortunately saner thoughts prevailed as despite these improvements my state of mind didn't .
What has improved is Brother Andrew after a few setbacks he's at Mum and Dad's place eating solid food and getting better each day. The Yot is also improving with the addition of the forward railing and new deck the front is beginning to look like a Yacht. The space is amazing !
Once the platform is complete I'll have an area roughly the size of the rear deck but without the Kitchen (yet). The new decking is the same walkway grating as the rear fishing platform just much stronger. They didn't have any of the lighter grade in stock so we ended up with the industrial version rather than the domestic one. This, aside from the initial cost, is not a bad thing as the foredeck will cop an absolute pounding during open water sailing, so having heavier grating held down with nearly 200 5mm stainless bolts should be able to handle these extreme forces. I have to source some scrap aluminium checker plate on Monday to use as tie down washers and covers around the stainless railing that come through the new decking. These will be 150mm round or half round discs with a 25mm hole cut into the centre. Each deck area will need 5 of these discs before I can begin the long task of drilling and bolting the whole thing into place.Once again Ken stepped up to the plate when he was most needed and constantly pushed me to keep going. Thanks heaps mate!
It looks like I've found the carpet for inside the cabin area (well Richard did) which is a two toned stripe with 4" wide dark beige stripes spaced with 1/2" wide cream stripes between, this should make the inside cabin area look slightly less like a construction zone and more like a home. This was one of the things that constantly appeared on the blackboard this week, the other is the overwhelming desire to USE THE YOT, instead of work on it. So without further delay I'll be heading out to the reef (once the foredeck is secure). Fishing is always gr8 therapy. I've put the crab nets out this week only 1 male, plus I've caught a mangrove jack that'll be 4 dinner 2nite.
Friday lunch this week was Scotch eggs with creamy garlic mash and rich gravy,a real treat, perhaps even comfort food.
The world outside has gone a little topsy turvy with "snow" falling heavily on the Blue mountains where we were last week. Imagine Bathurst with snow chains on the tires. Miss Mermaid is snowed in and struggling to understand how it can be snowing in Australia during summer (she's not alone there!) I can pretty much guarantee it that it wont be a problem in Townsville. The temperature being one of the reasons I wanted the mosquito netting for the rear bed as night thyme itz getting a little warm to sleep so I figured being able to kip down of the rear bed with a fishing rod out wouldn't be such a bad thing.
Thatz the lot from Galleycat this week, I apologise for the negative vibe, Mum always say's "If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all" but the blog needs to reflect life aboard both positive and negative.
Captain felix
